- Expedition: Apr 3-8, 2016
- Stacey
- Kingsburg High School
- Yosemite National Park: Hetch Hetchy
April 5, 2016
I love how nature makes everything else seem silly or pointless. It doesn't matter if your crush likes you back or if your clothes match.
You're here and now.
The water will keep flowing down the creek either way. The tree will fall down and you will see wild life living their lives, totally unsure of your problems and frankly not caring.
Silly to think some animals don't take baths. What sickos. I wonder if Adam and Eve took showers.
I realized how fragile life is today. There were these little blue butterflies fluttering and a baby blue so gentle and kinda slow for butterflies. So unique. They seemed fearless of trudging hiking boots and doomed then to the muddy trail. We were crossing a stream and I was sweeping the line so I made sure everyone got through alright and these butterflies seemed to be at our access. Fluttering and muttering, hoping, interweaving amongst each other. Sweet, innocent little things. I knew I wouldn't be able to catch one, but the urge and hope that I would sprung my arms forward, fingers ready, heart leaping and sharing bliss. Full assurance of what my palms would grasp.
I looked down at the ground before the creek and there was a wounded little baby blue butterfly. I picked it up. Some lady walked by and told me to hold it in my hands until it warmed up so it'd be able to fly away. It never warmed up. It never felt better. It died. It was just alive, flying, beautiful, gentle. Now still, motionless and nothing more than something to grieve. How miserable.
I like meeting new people because it doesn't matter what either of you did five years ago or said...all that matters if now. Who you are. Not mistakes you've made or anything from the past. It starts now. Here until the future. It's a chance to restart and do better.
Thursday
Why is it always me that finds the large piles of ants? It's probably because I ignore bad things until they are unbearable. Probably not the smartest way to live life. I was just covered in a million ants, yet I'm not complaining, because it was nothing like I've had to go through before. Like the death of my friend Megan. Emotional pain can almost be worse than physical pain sometimes. Because there is no ibuprofen for a heartache. You can't ice away the searing pain of loss. Nor does chicken noodle soup keep you from missing them. There are lots of things I question in life, her death is one. But I've come to the place of saying and knowing that only God knows all the answers. That's why I cling to the verse of Proverbs 3:5: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and fear not your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make straight your path." My life is useless and pointless without Christ.
Today I learned life is not about jumping over obstacles but moving them out of the way for the person behind you. Let them know about unsturdy footing and give them tips because you've been there. Help others, don't just through the mess.
Today I also realized contrasting yourself has no use. It only makes you feel worse about yourself or another person. Either way it is no good. You either feel like less or think you are better so you trust others as if they are less. They are not less. You are Stacey and you are great.
The wilderness helped me see this and continues to show me this because a bear doesn't say to another bear, "I wish my coat were as thick as Jimmy's." All it thinks about is food and living. Which there is more to life than that, but there's almost more simpler things than that.
Yosemite isn't our home, we're guests, just like this planet isn't our home, we're guests. Treat this place like it's your first time being at your potential in-laws' house. Treat it better than home. I don't know about you, but at home sometimes I'll leave it a mess, not clean up after myself and make messes. Sometimes my mom will end up cleaning it up, but there sure are things I wouldn't do at a friend's house that I would do at mine. that's our problem as humans. Careless takers that our only think about themselves. I strive to be otherwise.
